Eve Teasing

I am angry.

I had an awesome day, and it got all messed up by a stupid 15 year old boy. There is a social happening in India that is euphemistically known as, "Eve teasing", in which men touch women and get away with it. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eve_teasing. In my estimation, eve teasing is the product of a sexually repressed culture, compounded by a culture in which women are often object, maneuvered by and subject to men. India, for all it's beauty... this too is India.

So: I was walking along with Amy tonight after being out to the store, and it was just starting to get dusky. This boy pulled up, and asked us the way to Dodda Gubbi, the nearby village, and we started giving him the rather simple directions. He stopped us, indicating that he only knew Kannada, and so we pointed the way. He looked a bit confused, but started pulling away on his bike... until about 5 meters away, when he stopped. We kept walking -- it's always best in these situations to keep walking, walk purposefully, and not mention where exactly you're walking to. He kept this up, asking if he can take us part of the way, asking where Dodda Gubbi is, pulling up, and asking all over again. Then, when it was getting dark and the road opened up to show that no one but Amy and I were around, and he raised his hand to point down the road towards Dodda Gubbi, and instead moved his palm against my breast.

Well.

I threw his hand away, and said, rather stupidly, "Dodda Gubbi is that way, and do not touch me again," jabbing my finger in the air in his direction. I think he started to appreciate that I had him by 10 years, 5 inches and 50 pounds, and that the game was very, very much up. He turned and drove off, and I stupidly (again) didn't get his vehicle registration.

The whole thing was passing, and it was stupid, and it was inconsequential, but it was also deeply upsetting. How is it that such an incredible country has such... issues? Not that this is entirely India's fault -- the way that Americans behave in media -- and really, the way Americans behave in person -- can lead one to believe a lot of things about the way that American girls would act in such a situation. What does Kate Winslet do in Titanic? And don't even get me going on whatever nutwit thought it was a culturally good idea to export Baywatch. But still, I am careful to wear clothing that is conservative (I do in the US as well, for that matter) and I am careful not to hold eye contact for too long, careful not to touch men, careful careful careful. And I hate it that some ridiculously inept, horny 15 year old can impede on that, violate that, especially by taking advantage of someone's willingness to try and help. I had half a mind to run after him and give him a thrashing with Amy's umbrella.

What's perhaps worst is that when we got back, all the women were very concerned, clucked about his brazenness, and nodded with understanding. They have all been there, and probably more constantly, and probably to much greater degrees.

I don't tell this story as more or less than an anecdote. I was so shaken by the encounter simply because it was so unexpected, so uncommon in my experience. India is not full of sex crazed scary men intent on fondling women on dark roads, but nor is it wise to ignore the significant hurdles that many women face here to enjoy rather mundane standards of dignity and respect.

And so, I close with an Americanism -- boo on crappy people, wherever they may be.